Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
