Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize