Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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