i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
