Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
