Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
