Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
