if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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