Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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