So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize