Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
