I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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