wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
