I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
