didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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