i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
