Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
