oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
