please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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