then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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