I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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