Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
