I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
