If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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