Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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