i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
