I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize