I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
