Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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