Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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