My friends, they love my intelligence
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
