Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She's JV to your varsity
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
