1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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