just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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