haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
