i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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