wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
