i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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