she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
