is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
