Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
