Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
