So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
