she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
