i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
