Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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