We're facebook friends in real life
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
