her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
