drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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