Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
