One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
