Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
