No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so let's talk penis.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My penis needs a shock collar
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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