Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
