bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
PANTIES FOUND
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