Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
