do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
