Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
