When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize