I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
