Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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