i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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