didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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